There and Back Again

Hey everyone, I’m back from my month-long vacation. It’s been one hell of an interesting ride. Highlights of my journey include:

• Venice, ah beautiful Venice, I don’t have a bad word for you
• Amsterdam caught me by surprise! I love the this city
• The charming cottages complete with grazing cows in the very picturesque Swiss Alpine region
• The people! So many helpful, friendly people who’ve helped make this trip a memorable one!

My feet are covered with blisters and my body is aching. It’s been a great experience. But oh, does it feel good to be back home. :)

See You Later

Absent
Hey all. I’ve just crawled out of my week-long semi-comatose state. I was down with a particularly bad cold. Had fever 4 days straight. I was convinced I had the flu but no, just the common cold, insisted the doc. In my drug-induced stupor, I kept trying to console myself that some good will come out of this and whaddaya know! Having spent my days mostly in deep slumber and awake in the wee hours of the night, my body has somewhat adjusted to Central European time! Yup, I will be leaving for my European adventure in a few days’ time. I’m not sure if I’ll be blogging on the road so if there are no updates here next month, do pardon me!

Present
While lying sick in bed the other day, it dawned on me how we tend to really be in the present during extremes in our lives — in mirth or gloom, when we’re experience great pain or pleasure or during moments when we were this close to death. The other parts — those that make the bulk of our lives — we merely go through the motions, only to be referred to when current times are bad: “those were the days”, “I wish things were back to normal”, etc. Over the past few years, I’ve been trying to live my life positively in the present and I have to say that it has helped tremendously in the way I see and live my life. I genuinely believe that living with a positive mindset coupled with affirmative action has helped me achieved a lot of my goals — one of which is this very trip I’m taking. :)

Tomorrow is May Day for many of you folks, so enjoy the long weekend!

Beautifully Imperfect

Speaking of letting the tears flow, I caught this ad (commissioned by the Ministry of Community Development Singapore and directed by Yasmin Ahmad) twice this week and I cried both times!

I will be enjoying the long weekend with my family and hope you’ll have a good one too. :)

Nothing Like The Present

Spoke to an old friend today and he told me how he missed the good old days. I told him that although my youth was good in general, I surely don’t miss them. Those were the days of shopping with friends, checking out boys, watching local bands play and getting away with many, many things. Those were also the days fraught with illness, sadness, and struggle.

Life has been a series of constant learning and improvements. It took me so long to realise this.  Everything “bad” that had happened was an opportunity for me to learn and better myself. So in effect, each new day is better than the day before.

The present is a comfortable place for me to be right now. The people I love are healthy and relatively happy and that makes me happy.  It’s funny how now that I live life fully aware of the present, every little “good” thing is magnified. “I’m having a funny conversation with my husband, how cool is that?”, “My cat is dreaming in its sleep. This is cuteness personified!”, “I’m eating a chocolate bar. What a delightful taste!”

10, 20 years on, when I look back on this day I hope I’ll still be saying  “those were the good old days.  And thank you for the present”.

Something to Remember

Life is a series of ups and downs.

(Again and  Again, Keane)

Lost and Found

The little break I’ve taken has done wonders. I’ve chilled out, contemplated, rejoiced.

Lost
My husband and I went to Little India, an ethnic enclave a few minutes away from the city centre, last week. We ate chicken biryani and samosas. Walked through rows and rows of colourful shop houses. After awhile, it became evident that we didn’t know the area that well.

We were lost. For hours we were wondering aimlessly, discovering quaint little corners tucked away from the main road. It would have been really fun if not for the 32-degree (90 F) heat. But that’s okay, a day like this makes an icy cold glass of coffee taste just that much better. And I need to maintain this positive mindset because we’re probably gonna get lost quite a bit come May. Why? We’re planning on going for a month-long vacation to Europe and I’m very, very excited about it. It will be our first time and I didn’t know where to begin! It would be nice to get some info from family and friends who’ve been there but the general consensus when we hinted about the trip to them has been negative - “better to save your money”, “it’s a bad time to go”, etc - so no, we didn’t get much help from them.

Found
I’m thankful to have people around me who cared enough for me to dispense well-meaning advice. I’m grateful too for the privilege of being able to make my own decisions. I decided that if I didn’t go now, I would probably regret it later.

Firstly, the exchange rates are very favourable now. Secondly, I have less work now. Yes, you heard that right. Less work. While I couldn’t possibly envision myself taking a month off work last year, there’s a definite dearth of projects in the coming months. Time, once a great luxury to me, has become more affordable now. Still I felt that I need a little reaasurance, and turned to my best friend.

“Just go,” said my best friend.

“But why?” I asked.

“Because,” she laughed.

Embrace the now, be spontaneous, grab the silver lining, get inspired, live without regrets - she summed it up with one word.

In Perspective

Yesterday was not one of the best days of my life.

I woke up late for an appointment. Got caught in the rain.
Fell smack on my butt. In the middle of a large crowd of kids. Twice.
Had to wait in line at two different queues for a total of 2 and a half hours.
I was so hungry all the while because the only thing I had eaten the whole day was a piece of bread.

By the time all that ended all I wanted was a nice, comforting plate of creamy pasta.

Went to the supermarket. Got a good deal on two packs of spaghetti and some sauces. Was feeling chuffed as I went back home. Got home and realised that I had left one of my shopping bags at the cashier’s counter. The one with all the ingredients I needed to cook my dinner.

Took 35 minutes to get to and back home from the supermarket. No longer in the mood to cook. Ended up having two burnt bagels for dinner (I set the oven timer 5 minutes too long).

At night I got news that one of my relatives is now jobless. The one I thought was in a secure, cushy position.

Then my brother called to say that his company is axing nearly a thousand workers next week. He said he’s losing sleep and hair over the news and asked whether I could recommend….. a shampoo to slow down hair loss. :o

Jobs can be replaced but hair loss is irreversible, he reasoned. That’s someone who got his priorities sorted out, though not in a typical order, I thought.

Yesterday was not one of the best days of my life. But it could have been worse. And for that, I’m thankful.

Different But Still the Same

I met the other half of my sludge worm fellowship a few days ago. So glad to finally see her again! All the anxiety I had about meeting her quickly melted away as we chatted about the old days and how much (or how little) we’ve changed.

On the surface we looked different - we’re no longer giggly schoolgirls in uniforms, we’ve grown a couple of inches taller and our fashion styles have evolved - but essentially we’re still the same persons. She described our reacquaintance succinctly when she said,

“Everything’s different yet nothing’s changed.” :)

Life’s Little Gifts

I was in the shower when it happened - covered in soap, I was suddenly engulfed with a feeling of utter bliss.

I didn’t have to worry about things like war, hunger or poverty — I had warm water running down my body and delicious-smelling shampoo in my hair. In the light, soap bubbles were rainbow-coloured orbs, generously bestowing their beauty for my amusement.

I turned the shower off and the world was silent for a minute. Not a sound. Slowly, I started hearing a bird sing. And then another one. A gentle rustling of leaves. The sound of my breath, rhythmically inhaling and exhaling. The sounds of life. What a pleasure to be gifted with this experience!

Moments like this, stanzas in life’s poetry, are embedded into our daily lives. You just have to be aware of them, luxuriate in the moment, and let them magnify.

I hope you find a magic moment today. :)

Bright Spark In A Dark Place

I am in between health right now. At the moment I am battling brain fog and nausea so it’s a bit difficult for me to write coherently. I’ll be undergoing therapy the next few months and I look forward to getting better. :) The key for me now is to find things to be thankful for and concentrate on them:

1. My sense of humour is still intact - it’s wearing thick steel underpants!
2. I have the love and support from family and friends (offline and online) to keep me going.
3. I have developed a stronger sense of appreciation for good times and good health.
4. I’ve not lost the drive to draw. :)